Simps, Hypergamy, and Game.

I've been in a rabbithole about dating for about a year now. Recently, I came across an interview with the author of possibly the most popular book on romantic relationships of all time, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. In it, Dr. John Grey dives into the biological mechanisms we have as men and women that fosters bonding.

For example, when a man gives to a woman and is appreciated for it, his testosterone raises. Concurrently, a woman's estrogen raises, as this act triggers feelings of safety and security. This creates an emotional bond between the two.

This fact of nature started me thinking about the recent "simp" dialogue happening in the culture currently. For those unaware, a "Simp" is:

While this is the informal formal definition, I learned this term while watching videos in the "Game" genre of YouTube, where men shame other men for being nice to women, making chivalrous gestures for them, or providing for them financially in some way, especially if they aren't sleeping with them.

I can't help but feeling like, in modernity, we are living in such disharmony with natural order, that something we have a biological system for, something that is designed to foster stable sexual relationships, is being programmed and shamed out of us almost.

This isn't the only theme counter to natural order I have observed in the world of Game. Actually, Game as a practice, in its entirety, is counter to how we are naturally wired. See, women are hypergamous creatures. This means that we seek partners that are equal or greater to us in social status. Game circumvents this natural inclination and heads straight for women's' egos, toying with them until it forms a trauma-bond. Like hacking the system, a false power.

Not to say women are innocent in hacking natural order. The contraceptive pill does this in and of itself, and when risk is removed from the sexual act, women operate differently when considering it. Not only this, but women entering into the workforce has empowered us economically. Whereas men used to woo a woman by providing safety and security, when women are providing that for herself the stakes are now higher and not every man can compete. Thus, Game was invented, the art of using words to circumvent women's need for safety, and get into her pants- an act with a much lower barrier to entry.

As much as our culture has been swinging in the direction of modernity, I have been observing a small but growing trend in the world of “strategic dating,” “high-value love,” and women finally getting clued into our natural needs as a woman. I have seen an increased interest in more traditional partnerships, and more and more people waking up to their natural wiring as humans. It feels like the counter to the “game” movement, to the values that feminism touts, and to overall hatred between the genders.

As much as we may try, we will never change how we are wired. We will always lose in a battle between us and nature.