On Regaining Sanity.

The week before I came to Mexico, I was so depressed that I wouldn’t leave my bed for days. One afternoon, I saw some sunlight peek through the clouds outside my bedroom window for the first time in days and I told myself I must go outside and run. After 40 minutes of convincing myself that I needed to get up, I did, and made my way downstairs to put on a dirty pair of leggings I hadn’t had it in me to wash. This action exhausted me to the point of having to crawl back into bed and begin convincing myself again to get up.

Eventually, I found myself outside and running. Halfway through I came back to myself and closed my eyes in gratitude for moving and being outside. I ended my route on hill at the golf course, facing the sun, crying a little, and praying for the season to pass with ease.

It’s a little unnerving to realize you lost your mind after 9 months of isolation and a sunless winter. But gaining it back feels even sweeter than if it never left at all. If you fight for anything in this life, fight for yourself, for your happiness, for your love.